#NYR Twitter Ten Commandments

#NYR Twitter 10 Commandments

It may surprise you that this even exists but it does. If you fail to follow these #NYR Twitter Ten Commandments, you may be ridiculed and ostracized from the NYR Twitter Community.

I sadly have probably broken all of these. Take heed my friends…Be warned!

#NYR TWITTER TEN COMMANDMENTS

 

  1. Thou shalt have no other King aside from Henrik Lundqvist
  2. Thou shalt not worship any other King aside from Henrik Lundqvist
  3. Thou shalt not take the King’s name in vain
  4. Remember to blame Tom Poti, Michal Rozsival, Michael Del Zotto, Tanner Glass, Dan Girardi for everything
  5. Honor corsi and all fancy stats
  6. Thou shall not kill or call into question Derek Stepan as a #1 center or Ryan McDonagh’s greatness
  7. Thou shall not commit infidelity of Adam Clendening or any other player corsi believes in
  8. Thou shall not steal Adam Clendening’s line up spot
  9. Thou shall not bear false witness to what possession stats have to say about all players NYR Twitter thinks suck
  10. Thou shall not covet anything FullTilt Rangers says

If you can abide by these rules on Twitter, you will be warmly welcomed and embraced. If not, you will likely be attacked and subtweeted ad nauseam.

Now go enjoy your Sunday.

P.S. This is satire. So relax.

5 comments

  • Hilarious Tony.
    I never understood why some people on Ranger boards feel that anyone who criticizes any Ranger player, coach of GM is not a real fan.
    There are many knowledgeable fans on both sides of every argument. What is so appalling is the personal attacks on someone with an opposing point of view.
    What’s sad is that you had to point out to some, that the article was sarcasm.
    Great piece, keep them coming.

  • Sorry that should say “or Gm…” not “of GM”.

  • Maybe Jess Rubenstein Maybe Not

    You are wrong always wrong never right totally wrong and you never know what you are talking about. You are the worst New York Islander writer I have ever seen, you are terrible I cannot believe you are a New Jersey Devil’s fan. Just once you would get your facts right

    Love,

    Your mom and dad.

    PS do not be late for dinner

  • 11. You will appreciate MSG coverage in spite of the lamest hockey coverage imaginable: MSG Hockey Show, AV Show, dearth of Beginnings shows-not bad but so few its laughable. Also, you will ignore the mindless (and enjoy) the same commercials shown dozens of times (and more) and you won’t realize that the coverage of the Rangers involves how many tickets a player bought for friends, whose wife is pregnant and what a nice guy a player is. You won’t notice Steve Valiquete talks hockey, Glen Healy, too, Dave Maloney and Al Tratwig not bad and the rest are “company” men.
    As an aside, if you want to see real coverage that’s not “Hockey for Dummies” look at NESN Boston TV. NBCSports is good, Doc Emerick a talent but really if a ref misses a call-tell me. If Step and Glendening screw up by standing around while a Predator tips a puck in while standing between them-say something.

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