A Very Blueshirt Christmas: Our Gifts to the Rangers from the FullTilt Staff

Andy Marlin- USA Today Sports

Andy Marlin- USA Today Sports

With the New York Rangers recent success, and in light of them being one of the hottest teams in hockey at the moment with seven straight victories, now would be a perfect time to cook up a little Christmas list for the Blueshirts, sent with our best wishes from the crew here at Full Tilt.

Who knows what the players are REALLY asking for, so the great thing about this is we can offer our own gifts to them, and we might as well have a little fun with it too.

Editor’s Note: Apparently you all didn’t know that Mats Zuccarello wasn’t on this list because he was helping us deliver presents for Christmas. He is a Christmas Elf you know.

Henrik Lundqvist– To this man, we bestow a replica Stanley Cup so he keep his eye on the prize can practice his form. Come June, the training and focus may come in handy. Knowing Hank, he is very mad about how last season ended, and he definitely wants to get back to that final series and prove his worth, and show how much he deserves to lift the coveted trophy.

Replica Cup at Amazon for $257

Replica Cup at Amazon for $257

Rick Nash– One of the best forwards in the game right now so for Nash, we offer a “get out of practice free” card, because who wants him wasting his energy when he has a long season ahead of him? In his stocking, we will also throw in a playoff performer card, because when it comes to that department, he has been very quiet. Hopefully the card will bestow good playoff success upon him.

Martin St. Louis– We give to Marty the Fountain of Youth. He is a chiseled veteran who knows what it takes to win, but if the Rangers want him to keep scoring and be a successful asset for this team, he needs to stay fresh and young. Old age is not a bad thing, but winning a championship is more important, no? We need him to have fresh legs come playoffs.

Carl Hagelin– A new visor, I mean seriously. He’s adored by the fanbase and he has quick speed that can burn any defense, but that visor needs to go, or he at least needs to realize it actually needs to be in front of his face. It makes him look like a fool and we all remember what happened to defenseman Marc Staal, who doesn’t have full vision in his eye because of a puck he took in the face. We don’t want the same thing happening to dear Hags.

Carl Hagelin (Photo by Anthony Causi)

Carl Hagelin needs a visor that fits (Photo by Anthony Causi)

Derick Brassard– To Brass we give consistency and a mumps booster shot. He has been one of the better forwards this season paired with Rick Nash and Mats Zuccarello, and his points production has been the one of the best he’s ever had. However, if the Rangers want to keep delving in this recent string of wins Brassard must continue to be consistent night in and night out, and produce valuable play for the team. Plus, no more mumps!

Chris Kreider– To good ole’ Chris we want to give a used pair of Brett Hull gloves. It seems as if he is gripping that stick a little too tight and he once had a goal drought of 13 games before finally potting one against Calgary. The Golden Brett always believed in order to score you need to have fun out there. We at FullTilt believe this gift will be just the thing to get him going and playing the way we know he can.

Derek Stepan– For Step, we give the gift of accuracy and bubble wrap. He’s really shown off his shot so far this season, especially in shootouts, and it seems when he was hurt he was really working on his upper-body because his shot looks to have gotten stronger. He’s a good choice in the shootout because he can pick any spot and hit it with ease. We hope this gift brings him continued success for seasons to come. We also feel the bubble wrap may help in avoiding anymore injuries this season.

Stepan lays motionless on the ice after illegal hit by Prust (Getty)

Stepan lays motionless on the ice after illegal hit by Prust (Getty)

Kevin Hayes– To Kevin we give an instructional DVD on winning face-offs. Signed straight out of Boston College, he has come into this league and really made a name for himself. Earlier in the season he was a bit shaky but he has really come into his own and showed the skill set he possesses. He holds up the puck with patience and his passes are on point. Now just win a few draws kid.

J.T Miller– To Miller we give a “welcome back” card. It’s not easy playing in the NHL, and Miller has been having a tough time with all the call-ups and send-downs. But now, he has found his game, and is playing well for the Rangers. He has four goals so far and we are sure more are coming.

JT Miller, NYR (NHL)

JT Miller, NYR (NHL)

Dominic Moore– We give the gift a Hockey Purple Heart. After losing his wife and taking a year off of hockey to cope with it, he has come back and sent strong soundwaves throughout the NHL. He is a consistent fourth-liner who will give you 110% night in and night out. He also scored that big goal in game 6 of the Eastern Conference Final last year, so he can score a little bit too.

Tanner Glass– We give him the “Get Out of Corsi Jail Free” Card. This way the next obnoxious advanced stat blogger or Glass hater points it out he can just show him this and go on his merry way.

Tanner Glass wants to show Talbot his Get Out of Corsi Jail Free Card

Tanner Glass wants to show Talbot his Get Out of Corsi Jail Free Card

Jesper Fast– We give more playing time. We know he isn’t that good where he can play top six, but he has some good skills that could prove a try on the third line maybe. It’s worth a shot, what do ya say Vigneault?

Ryan McDonagh– To Ryan we give a video of great offensive defensemen. It features Bobby Orr, Paul Coffey and our very own Brian Leetch. Mack has grown into one of the best defenseman in the league and shutdown Alex Ovechkin and the Caps last night like he always does. He is a #1 d-man for years to come and he will be very valuable to this Rangers team but could you imagine also getting 20 goals out of him? Wow.

Dan Girardi– We give Terminator vision, because he can’t be stopped. He played in his 600th game a few days ago and he rarely, if ever gets injured, and if he does, he plays through it. He’s a warrior, and a pretty good defenseman at that. Plus, he’d look real cool with red eyes.

Come with me if you want to live!

Come with me if you want to live!

Marc Staal– We give the ‘E for effort’ trophy. He may not be the best d-man on the team, but he puts in a strong effort every night. He doesn’t even have full vision in one of his eyes, and he’s playing hockey and actually playing it pretty well as of late. What a beast.

Dan Boyle– We give his scoring touch from the 90’s back. He was brought here for offense on the blueline, but with the injury to his hand and a bout with the flu, he has struggled to find his game. He has looked good in recent contests though, and we are confident that the scoring will come soon.

Matt Hunwick– We give a bright future and KISS BOOT skates. He is a very consistent defenseman who plays strong in his own end and makes the good outlet pass which sparks a Rangers’ rush. We wish him well and hope he has a spot on the roster for years to come. Plus the extra 7 inches from the Gene Simmons heels should help.

Kevin Klein– We give everything and a really cool Ultimate Optimus Prime action figure. This guy has been the biggest surprise this year, he has seven goals, and is even getting a look on the powerplay because of it. Lundqvist says he has the hardest shot on the team and he certainly shows that during gameplay. His defensive side is strong as well and he is a pivotal defenseman in the Rangers lineup.

Merry Christmas Optimus Klein

Merry Christmas Optimus Klein

2 comments

  • No presents for Zucc? After watching his Beginnings I don’t think that guy has a bad bone in his body! Come on FullTilt give the guy a chance! Merry Christmas!

  • To Zuccarello we give the gift of heart. There isn’t a player in the NHL that plays with more that Zuc. A pair of platform skates might get him that long term contract he’s looking for as well!

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